I am in love with your bathroom.
(Giggle) Yes, I know I'm weird, but I've never had a friend who had her own bathroom, and yours has two lipstick red sinks. That Crayola Crayon shower curtain is about the neatest thing I've ever seen. Makes me want to jump in and take a shower right now. No, no...psych! Don't get your shampoo out. Psych...you know, it means like, fooling! Wait, you have Nexxus shampoo?
Oh shit! You spilled the Covergirl! Ugh! Mop it up, quick! Wait, not with the white washcloth. You're totally going to get killed over this. Oh, the cleaning lady will get it out? Well, ok. I hadn't considered the cleaning lady. What's her name? Well, maybe you should ask her sometime. She is cleaning up your messy bathroom counter, and probably your grody toilet, too, right? I hope she has some bleach, this makeup is the long wearing kind and it's staining big time. Naw, her English doesn't have to be perfect for you to at least know her name. Well, I'd be cranky too if I had to pick up all these Izod shirts and designer jeans and fold them for you. I mean I can, like, barely walk in here.
Wait, I don't know if we should be in your parents' room. I don't really go in my parents' room at home. Yeah, her dressing table is so pretty. Chanel No. 5? Totally. I've seen it on TV but never smelled it up close. Oh. My. Gawd. That is something I'd definitely wear to a dance or somewhere fancy...like a date with Richie Rich, ha ha! Hey, stop spraying it on me! It doesn't go with my Asia Heat of the Moment t-shirt. Oh, you like it? Aww, thanks, I do too. You've never had a concert t-shirt of your own? Well, we can fix that. Let's go to Fashions of India at the mall on Saturday and look through the racks for a band you might like. Marillion? Umm, maybe not that one. Don't you like Duran Duran or Van Halen?
Sure, I'd love to go downstairs and have a snack and watch Valley Girl on your Videodisc player. What's a Videodisc player?
Hi Rich Kid's Mom. Yes, you're correct. I do smell like I'm bathing in Chanel No. 5. Rich Kid said it was ok to spray it. Well, yes, I do love it. Oh, no, no, no...that's all right. I don't need to bring a bottle home with me. What do you mean you have a year's worth in the back of the linen closet? Oh, well that is super nice of Rich Kid's Dad. Yes, perfume is a thoughtful gift, perfect for every occasion.
Caviar on water crackers? You're kidding, right? Usually we eat Cheez Balls or Snack Pack vanilla pudding at my house when we want a little something. No, I can't say I've ever been to a dinner party but I would love to. I'm, like, way too sophisticated for Cheez Balls, especially since I smell so radical. No, radical is good. Absolutely, I'll try your caviar and let you know what I think.
Valley Girl, mm hmmmmmm. There's no such thing as seeing it too many times. I shouldn't be talking with my mouth full, but this snack is like, totally bitchen. No, Rich Kid's Mom, I'm not swearing. You have to listen to the girls in this movie to get what I'm saying.
Julie's red Vuarnet sunglasses? Yes, they are major. I'm saving up for a pair. Maybe by the end of the summer I'll have enough money from babysitting. Oh, you have a couple pairs from your trip to France last year? What colors? Mmm, black and brown are nice. And having a leather case for them is totally necessary, I agree. You already scratched the lenses of the black ones? No doy, leaving them face down on your dresser will do that. You think the cleaning lady made them worse? That's heinous. Why would she do that?
Where are you going, Rich Kid's Mom? Rossignol gets shampooed somewhere other than your bathtub? Oh I hadn't thought about his toenails scratching the glaze. Does my tub at home have glaze? I've honestly never noticed. Well, yes, a standing appointment does seem kind of cool. Sure, after I get done eating this delicious caviar cracker, I'd love to ride along so you don't have to lift him into the Mercedes by yourself. Come on, Rich Kid, pause the movie.
Oh my God, this is a beautiful car, even if it smells like wet Golden Retriever. Are these leather seats? Yes, I love that Rich Kid's Dad bought it so you'd have something to drive Rossignol around in. Now, that is both gnarly and practical. Of course I said gnarly. Gnarly is a good thing. Rich Kid usually gets picked up out front of school in a Jaguar XJ12. I know; I know a lot about cars for a kid my age. My Dad sells them and I am kind of obsessed. An Aston Martin? Well, yes, I think they're the bomb. The bomb. Yes, that is a good thing. Where is it? Oh, I see. The Lake House sounds like a legit place for an Aston Martin. Sure, that would be fun; Saturday sounds awesome but first can we go shopping for a concert t-shirt for Rich Kid?
#mushroomtumbler
