Goodbye #2

Please don't break up with me.

I won't know how to breathe, or what door to wait at to get into school, or how to walk past your locker.

Who will cover your books for you? You were never good at that brown paper bag thing. 

I have a real silver spoon out of your kitchen drawer from when you brought me a wrapped piece of your grandma's special dessert last Christmas. I also have your Walkman, your gray Nike sweatshirt, and your dyed electric blue rabbit's foot with your Stepdad's shed door key on it; and you still have my bike which, you might have forgotten, is in that shed for safekeeping. Bringing it back here will surely mean it'll be stolen in a week, just like my last two ten speeds. 

Do you really want that on your conscience?

Maybe your new girlfriend won't mind if I decide to stop by and grab my bike before school and then bring it back to the shed after school and maybe she won't even notice if I pick it up every weekend, now, too. 

You're right, I haven't ridden it all that much lately but my guts tell me that as of tomorrow, I'm going to be riding that bike 

All

The

Time. 

#mushroomtumbler

Goodbye #1

Please don't go.

I promise I will stop flinching when you comb my hair. 

I will walk the dog.

I will stop snickering when you come down the stairs with those greenish clay face masks on that make your skin so smooth. 

I will put the wine bottles in the bottom of the trash.

I will offer the older pretzels to my friends instead of the unopened Oreos. 

I will finish my homework on Saturday morning instead of Sunday night. 

I will answer the phone with our family's last name and the word residence, so that we sound important. 

I will move the laundry from the washer to the dryer when you are tired. 

I will rinse my bathing suit of its chlorine and hang it in the bathroom. 

I will stop complaining when I have to dress up for Thanksgiving. 

I will stop shoving all five pieces of gum from the pack into my mouth.

When we shop for my winter coat, we'll buy the one you like on me instead of the one I like on me. 

Please don't leave. 

I promise I won't leave my sneakers for people to trip over in the middle of the living room. 

I won't bring home any grades lower than A minuses.

I won't take your perfume to school and spray all the girls after gym class. 

I won't bring home anymore goldfish in baggies from school fairs. 

I won't stay over at my friends' houses every weekend when you need help cooking dinner and vacuuming.

I won't roller skate on the lawn.

I won't crawl out my window onto the roof. 

I won't spend my birthday money on smelly stickers for my sticker book.

I won't toss all our wheat-flavored crackers out to the birds.

I won't draw mustaches and ink out the front teeth of the actresses on the covers of your magazines. 

I won't argue about bedtime on a school night. 

Your secrets are safe with me. Who would I tell? 

Promise you'll wait.

...

Goodbye. 

#mushroomtumbler